Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Randomize
