At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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