everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
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