Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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