I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
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