Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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