Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
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