i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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