There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
