why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
