I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
