ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
