Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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