Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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