I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
