yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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