strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
