that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Randomize
