I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
