he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
