I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
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