I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
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