I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
