Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize
