wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
i've created a new STD.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
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