I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Randomize
