once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
