Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I just threw up on my dentist
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
This house was built for laser tag.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
