Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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