But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
