I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
