It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
