Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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