Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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