I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
