Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
