Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize
