my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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