his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Someone came in the potted fern
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
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