she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
