hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize