3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
