I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Randomize