the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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