just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
