how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
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