Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
