I looked at my own cervix.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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