Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
