There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
