i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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