hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Randomize
