I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Randomize
