i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize