he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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