EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize