Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
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