Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
